Pat Robertson made a deal with the devil or I know why the hunted pig squeals

It would be really easy to simply dismiss Pat Robertson as a senile, old racist—a typical redneck “good ol’ boy” with a decrepit mind that hates gays and wants political leaders assassinated. Y’know, an albino Clayton Bigsby.

But that would be a mischaracterization—Pat’s not blind. He’s not albino either—he’s just really, really, really pale.

It would likewise be very convenient to simply blame Pat’s uninformed and failing thought process for saying that Haiti’s current turmoil and pain and suffering was because Haiti, collectively, “got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. The devil said, okay it’s a deal.” It would be very comforting to think that Pat wouldn’t honestly believe that this devastating earthquake that killed at least 50,000 people was a “blessing in disguise” if he were in his right mind.

But that would be inaccurate; Pat’s said stuff like this before. More importantly, however, is that this sort of disgusting religious thought–essentially, “the Haitians had it coming”–has existed for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Don’t get it twisted: lots of people believe what Pat said is dead right–he’s just the only one idiotic/courageous enough to say it on television. Granted, my personal interest is that this same racist and self-righteous viewpoint was used to justify horrific acts against Natives for hundreds of years. Still, I’d be remiss NOT to point out this same racist thought process that is responsible for slavery, stealing millions of acres of Native land, dismissing suffering by Haitians and many other people’s subjugation as well.

But I’ll get back to that later on; at that point we’ll discuss why Christians performing the Great Commission always seems to end in people of color being broke or enslaved or killed. In the meantime–since we’re talking about deals with the devil–I’d like to tell you a bit about Pat Robertson’s great barter.

In fact, something happened a long time ago in Lexington, Virginia and most people do not want to talk about it. See, around 1930 a United States Congressman named Absalom Willis and his wife Gladys had a baby; the baby was allegedly born with two odd horn-shaped protrusions on his head. The reportedly horned baby would later become the noted gay-basher/Haiti-hater Pat Robertson. In an ironic twist of fate, his parents gave the aspiring homophobe the slightly effeminate moniker “Marion.” Apparently that wasn’t “manly” enough for young Marion, so he decided to go by “Pat.” For purposes of this story, we’ll refer to him as Marion/Pat.

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